2020: The Journey through Change: Holding on, letting go & everything in between

Staying down, rising up... it was a choice I had to make. I feel it’s fair to say that this year has been a very tough year. Like many people, this year forced me to adjust to many changes. Some willingly and others out of obligation. I have spent a lot of time trying to digest everything that is happening in the world today and trying to live this “new normal” which, in my case, has effected me on two different levels. On the upside, I became a mom. On the downside, I become a mom who feels isolated by the guidelines of a pandemic. Definitely the journey that I had mapped out for myself did not pan out as planned yet, everyday I coach myself in embracing that “lessons often come dressed up as detours and roadblocks” (Oprah Winfrey) I was so excited for 2020.

2019 blessed me with a healthy and happy pregnancy and my husband and I anxiously awaited our new year surprise. New Year, New Life.

At the end of January, I gave birth to a healthy baby and I was excited to be a mom. From the moment I found out that I was pregnant to the moment I looked into his sweet eyes, I knew that he was going to change my life. Everyday since has been a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts and actions. If I put in perspective some of my feelings and opinions around this pandemic, the only one that stands out is that it gave me no other alternative than to be 100% present everyday.

I cultivated my relationship with my child, reconnect more with my family and learned a lot about myself.

RE-evaluate

In my short journey so far through motherhood, I have realized what a beautiful responsibility being a mom is. It is exciting as it is terrifying. It asks for vulnerability as much as is requires strength. Motherhood brings about a multitude of changes that no one can prepare you for. These changes sometimes leave you feeling empowered, with a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment and then these changes can leave you feeling flustered, depleted and helpless. There are times where I feel lost. Where I feel that who I was, that woman I spent years creating has been torn down and washed away.

No one and nothing prepared me for this feeling.

Conflicting feelings that are so hard to understand, so hard to express, so hard to accept.

Conversations with myself, trying to sort and figure things out:

How am I suppose to not loose myself in motherhood? It's impossible.

How do I make time when I am so tired?

Whats happening to my body? Is this normal?

What happens to ME or am I'm being selfish?

I am not the same woman I use to be &

to be honest, I’m kinda struggling with this.

RE-discover

I love being a mom. The knowing that I brought a life into this world is the greatest gift I have ever received and the greatest gift I have ever given.

Only 9 months in and a lifetime to go, after many books, articles, conversations, contemplations & meditations, I understood that I needed to adjust my perspective:

Letting go of who I thought I need to be in order to let in who I was becoming was the important

 realization for me. Embracing all the twist and turns along the road are foundation blocks that nurture my growth as a mother, as a woman, as a person. Perspective is everything. The way we see the world, the energy that we put into our thoughts and our emotions effect our reactions to any situation we find ourselves in. Its normal to have "negative" thoughts or feelings towards a circumstance however its unhealthy to get stuck in those negative tunnels. I call them tunnels because when we are in a place that is unfamiliar, it can feel dark and lonesome. But there is light at the end of the tunnel and that light is our perspective.

In order to be healthy in happy and happy in healthy we must honour who we are, value how far we have come and embrace our journey with an open mind &. heart. Namaste.

RE-create

“The path of love and light is not straight. It is full of curves and detours and delights, designed to open your heart and expand your mind”

Whatever the circumstance may be, when you find yourself “stuck” consider it time to RE- evaluate- RE discover- and RE create. We are not meant to be the same person throughout our life. Both acts of letting go and letting in bring discomfort, yet the outcome is transformation and there is nothing more beautiful then that.

“Change is never painful, only the resistance to change is painful” (The Buddha) As a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend and wellness coach I will always advocate for wellness because I believe that ones wellBEing should BE a priority and that the lifestyle we choose to lead should reflect the person we are. Life is a journey between the cycle of being and becoming and we will always be asked to rediscover ourselves at different stages in our lives. I am prouder of myself today than I was yesterday because I choose to rise and not fall. In connecting with a new ME, my lifestyle changed but my purpose remains the same. I’m adapting and moving forward, I want to empower you that you can adapt too.

Sincerely Your,

Wellness Coach